Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Traveling with a Commitment-Phobe

Mrs. BeenThere, there are so many of us out there who feel your pain. Each of my ex BF's tended to develop commitment-itis when confronted with an approaching vacation. I have also witnessed the psychosomatic illness. But now that I think about it was really manufactured illness and personal injury. Mr. BeenThere had a choice- to either eat the questionable shellfish or leave it alone. A previous ex boyfriend was even better than your husband. We were supposed to go to the jazz festival in Montreal, and he was sooo not excited about it. He took his mountain bike out the evening before, in the dark, and flipped over it, puncturing something in his shoulder that would actuallyrequire surgury. For the next week, instead of staying in a nice hotel, we stayed at his parents house where I slept on the floor next to his bed, and if memory serves me correctly, holding his hand. Gag, ugh, ughh, gag. I can totally imagine Brad having exploding diahrrea on a vacation with Jennifer Aniston, Courtney Cox, and David Arqette.He would probably eat some stale pork rinds to avoid having to participate in group karaoke or something. But he wouldn't with Angelina, or George Clooney for that matter. They would look down on him if he had to take a day off from working in the soup kitchen or whatever he's doing that day. Plus, Angie would so rip him a new one and go sleep with that Jenny Shimuzu model.
My most recent ex, you know, the BIG ONE also had a bad case of travel jitters. But he was truly the worst. Countless times he would take me on a field trip to the Barnes and Noble, to look excitedly through travel guides. I can't describe to you hhow excited he was. He would say things like, "I'd love to stay at a little rustic pensione just like this, with a window just like this." Then I would start to really plan the vacation, and after confirming he was available and booking the tickets, he would mentally back away and act like he was doing me a favor, like I'd been nagging him to go with me. Like it was all my idea! I swear, I would be on the cover of 'Duh' Magazine!

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