Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Where The Boys Are (Not)

I saw that interview! Lauer needed to give Brit a break. She is young and has a deadbeat husband. He was taking advantage of her vulnerability. Why doesn't he grill Angelina Jolie about how she bragged to the press that she would never sleep with a married man? If he ever said, 'you know, Angie, some people think you're a slut,' she would probably knee him in the nuts on camera. Anyway, Matt Lauer is a cheater; shame on him for looking down at Britney just because her mammaries are spilling out.

Anyway, my roommate has had an experience that further reveals Where the Boys Are (Not). I'm not sure why I find this story so funny but I just do. Perhaps because my roommate is so blase. This time the venue was a mostly-European-clientele jazz bar. Now this was helpful to me as I hate jazz, but was planning on checking out a jazz club just to see if it was where the boys are.
She went two weeks ago, and ended up talking to one of the two guys there that were'nt part of a couple. What you have to understand is that my roommate is Hungarian and likes to drink red wine and have conversations about culture. This guy was also European (Italien) and she described him as 'a little bit macho.' She had said this with a grimace but decided to give him a shot.
The guy came over on a Sunday with purple teeth and a fresh bottle of wine. He had curly hair and looked old. If you ask me she could have done a lot better than him, but she she seemed to be amusing herself. She, like me, is 36 and has not had a real date in 2 years. I heard them arguing in the hallway, but this is nothing new. She was using the same admonishing tone of voice as she uses with me and my other roomates in reference to the overflowing sink and the empty toilet paper roll.
Next week for her birthday, he invited her over for a BBQ but she declined. Mostly because she thinks he drinks too much. He gave her his number to call him, but she was clear in saying she was not going to do that; but he could call her if he wanted to.
On her birthday, this unwanted Italian showed up at the door with a dozen white roses and more red teeth, asking to take her to lunch. She yawned and shrugged. "Let me just change out of my robe."
The Italian launched into an animated monologue about jazz, to which I replied, 'I don't like jazz, I only like the blues.' He then became indignant and told me I couldn't like the blues if I didn't like jazz. Unruffled, I said, "Whatever you say," and offered him some sugar corn pops, which seemed to infuriate him more.

On the date, they rode from one restaurant to the next, looking for something suitable. The Italian refused to take the subway as my roommate suggested. Four cab rides in, my roommate was famished, and begged to just eat at some cheap Spanish place. The Italian was upset. Obvsiously my roommate wasn't falling prey to his charms as planned. For lunch, he tried to order for her, but that didn't work. She wanted soup, so she ordered soup. This next part is the part I really like, but I don't know why. For his lunch, the Italian ordered a salad with salmon. When lunch was delivered, all he was served was dried up beans on a plate. My roommate started to laugh uncontrolably. He got enraged and started yelling at the wait staff. They finally got him some fish tacos.
I haven't seen the Italian since, but he keeps calling my roommate and acting annoyed and angry that she's not calling him and inviting him over.

1 comment:

Sugar said...

Funny as hell!!!